A tantrum is at the end of a child’s spiral towards loss of self-control. Although for the toddler, tantrums are normal (as per my observation is concern). This is something that I don’t understand “before” and I have to understand “today” (heehee).
It happens when he has reached the end of his rope, Oftentimes, there are warning signs that us – parents must watch out for in order to soften or at least control a meltdown on its track. Well parents, I know that you will agree with me that it is easy to lose our control when facing our child’s tantrums. The more we want them to control their stubbornness the more they are likely to explode. However, our deepest commitment to be their full source of comfort rather than the antagonist of their lives will go a long way in cooling them down or even preventing tantrums to show up (thanks to momcenter for this reminder, cheers!)
Mom once said that Kade (my son) has a bigger propensity to blow up his tantrums when I am around, I mean with husband and I are around. He is certainly most likely to explore everything with me beside him because he knows that I can’t merely say YES to all of his wants as compare to them. I was bothered at first, I did imagine those parents inside the Malls getting mad and stress while their children is crying beside them. Worst! some of the children were lying on the floor, mocking for I don’t understand what was that all about (oh! shocks! that was something really stressful)
But parents, you know your child best. When you notice that his sweet smile and calm behavior have suddenly changed, especially for no apparent reason, he might be in a pre-tantrum mode.
Have these tips on how to stop their blow up before they start (from mom center). This is something very useful and effect.
- Check for and solve irritants. Some kids won’t be able to tell you right away what they are feeling, which can irritate them little by little. They might be hungry but might ignore the feeling when they are focused on their play. Other might be feeling hot or dirty and want to freshen up. Whatever the reason, make sure to observe your child and try to solve the irritant.
- Keep calm. The start of your child’s whining can be grating on one’s ears. Oftentimes, we lose our patience and done something hurtful to them. However, if we become aggressive right away the little whine will most probable escalate sooner rather than later. Remember, your child’s whining is NOT ABOUT YOU, but is about her/his unspoken and unmet needs. So always keep calm.
- Empathize. Give them the words that she may be unable to say at that time. For instance, would be, “I know you really want to stay a bit longer and play outside, but….” or You must be really hungry, Okay what do you want to eat?”
- Hug therapy. When children begin to lose their self-control, their parents’ understanding and warm embrace can be just what they need to keep themselves grounded. They need to feel our unconditional love despite their unpleasant behavior.